My little Nora girl is 10 weeks old today and my big boy is going to be 3 in about 4 1/2 months.
Sometimes I wonder how I even got to this place. One little one calling me Mommy and one sweet baby smiling adoringly at me, holding tight to my shirt as she nurses, cuddling against me to find comfort. These children have kept me from sleeping, from taking care of my most basic needs this week, but I have still found moments to relish the sweetness of being their mother. It is hard to look at my day when it is often laced with negative moments that I wish I could block out...but the sweetness I feel in such fleeting moments causes my heart to swell with wonder and appreciation for the blessings that God has placed in my life.
As I write this, little N is sitting here beside me, smiling and chilling, just content to be next to me in her Boppy pillow. As I reach and touch her tiny fingers, she pauses and looks into my eyes. She knows I am touching her, reaching out to her.
Seth is reading to Aidan in his bedroom. I hear their voices over the music playing in the background. On nights like these, after the exhaustion of a long day is coming to an end, I find respite in the loveliness of these sweet moments we can share.
I won't lie. Being isolated and cooped up with the kids is hard. I have tried so hard to face my day without complaining, with resting on the Lord and coming to Him when my heart is troubled (which seems to be quite often). Moving has been really hard. I haven't had much in friendly consolation, but I have been able to see how the Lord lets me notice these "little things" more often. Because here, we just have each other and we need to love each other in order to make this work. So instead of fretting with a heavy heart, I lift my eyes towards heaven with thankfulness on my lips. I am weary, but He is strong. I am lonely, but He is a friend.
These blessings I have because of His goodness.
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