Five Minute Friday- Nothing

This is my first time participating in the 5 minute Friday writing challenge. I love the freedom in taking just 5 minutes to write-unedited and real. I would love for you to join me in this! Check out Lisa-Jo Baker's Five Minute Friday Challenge here. Word for today-Nothing.

Nothing...

that is what I want to do most days.

I wish I had nothing to do but indulge my every whim, to sit in my pj's, take a long hot shower, read a book, paint a room.  But really, who am I kidding? It's in having everything that I find myself longing for nothing at the same time.

Nothing would be very lonely. It would mean I wouldn't have you. I wouldn't have work, I wouldn't have joy. Nothing doesn't sound so nice after awhile. Because when you are filled full of things, wonderful things, busy things, hard things...you still have so much more than nothing. It doesn't fulfill. It doesn't make you grow or challenge you. Nothing is without. It indulges in your selfishness and leaves you feeling empty.

To be the opposite of nothing is sometimes more things than I want to be. To be wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. To have it all tugging at me, grasping for my attention. When it pulls me I release my notion of nothing and run into all those things, feeling the fullness of grace in having everything right here.

Enna Rhys-10 months

Dear Enna,

Well, it is evident that you are indeed a third child as this letter is 11 days late. Yep, 11. But, better late than not at all, right? And I love you just the same either way.

What a month! You are finally crawling on hands and knees, pulling up to stand, walking along things, wanting to walk holding our hands, and standing alone every once in awhile. Your development is starting to really take off and it is so much fun to watch you learning new things. The only down side is that you are at that really wiggly, don't want to be held, but don't want to be put down stage. So, enjoying social activities with you is getting a lot harder.

You are eating well. You are still a little timid about self feeding, or it just gets old and you give up after a few bites. You aren't the eating enthusiast that your sister was, that's for sure. You still love purees and it's simple enough, so I do that a lot. Your favorite food is yogurt though. You LOVE yogurt....and peas. You have had a lot more gagging and choking lately, but I think it is just coinciding with the nasty cold you have had and all the phlegm in your throat because you have had a lot of trouble with finger foods lately. Oh, and you have pretty much given up eating crackers and puffs. I am hoping it is just because you are teething because snacks were my ticket to getting dinner started. You are still nursing about 5-7 times a day. Yes, no signs of weaning here.

You nap well. And I honestly can't believe I am writing that after all the nap drama we had with you for so long. Two good naps a day that usually last 1.5-2 hours. I am in love with your naps because it is the only time of day I can potentially get anything done. I say potentially because your two siblings also like to use that time to eat up all my attention (which is okay, as long as it isn't being eaten up by breaking up fights between them).

You say da-da and ma-ma all the time, but not directly at us. You seem to know the difference and repeat them when we say them. You also say na-na (for night night) and wave your hands all done when I say it. You started clapping a few days ago which is super cute and know the word for clap because your two little hands smack together when I say it. So cute! You seem to understand a lot of things and I get excited to communicate more with you as your language starts to develop.

You love baby dolls--hugging them and patting them. It is seriously the most precious thing ever. You like to be outside. You don't like to be left by anyone. You prefer Mommy over pretty much everyone. You love your thumb. You hold your ear when you suck your thumb which is pretty sweet. You like your bed. You don't like hugs. You don't like toys being taken from you. You like to scream just to scream. You love when you see everyone in the morning. You love baths and nearly fall in the tub if we don't get you undressed fast enough. You don't like bike helmets. You like to be held a lot. You sometimes bite me and think it is funny. You love to go places where there are lots of people. You smile at strangers. You are a squealer when you are excited. You love to "bounce" on the trampoline. You love getting into anything that seems remotely off limits. You love music.

You are a sweet gift from the Lord. You are so loved and enjoyed in this household.

Love,

Mama

P.S. You still don't sleep through the night. Can we figure this out soon, please? Mama is tired.

A Somewhat Belated Mother's Day Reflection

It's true, you know, that children are a blessing. I say it too myself often, even when I am dog tired, wanting desperately to sleep through the night, or when I I feel like a short order cook at mealtime and nobody wants to eat their dinner, or when I can't seem to fathom how everything upstairs has made it's way downstairs and vice versa. 

These children are teaching me things.

-They teach me how to multi-task, all 3 needing immediate attention at the exact same time for some ridiculous life or death sounding crisis.

-They teach me how to laugh at the little things because sometimes just the little things can be boring and mundane and just so everyday and then somebody says something funny and I can't help but all out belly laugh.

They teach me to die to myself, which is something I don't do by nature, but am learning that my own selfishness is just too complicated to try to heap on the top of the day to day needs. 

-They teach me about the Gospel, and how much I need to grab hold of grace and treasure Christ and allow it to seep into all that I am and all that I do.

Mothering is so much more about me than I realize. I think a lot of times I think that mothering is all about these children that God has given to me, but then I see how much it really is a lot about me too, with the latter actually being the most important. My heart, my reflection of Christ, my responses to immaturity and sin-these are constantly being tested. I am being watched carefully and the way I act is a BIG DEAL. I tell them what the Bible says about sin and disobedience and then we all try it out together and guess what????? We all fail. Me too. I am lumped in there with them, still learning how messy the human heart can be. 

I really wouldn't want it any other way. I have felt the profound grace of the Gospel in moments of utter failure as a parent. I am grateful for it. I am still experiencing growing pains in Christ. 

So, my loves, we can run this race together. We can try and try again and admit our failures and ask for grace. We can pray and sing and turn around and blow it, but be offered chance and chance again. We can hold each other up in prayer, offering encouragement along the way, recognizing our constant need for a Savior. It's going to be painful and difficult sometimes, but I am so glad that God gave me each one of you to run alongside. 

Awana

 I was thrilled that the "big kids" got to participate in Awana this year. It has truly been a blessing for all of us. Hearing the kids (especially Aidan) reciting the Word of God has been so valuable. It was a commitment because it was every single Wednesday night through the school year, but we did it and the kids both completed their books. Aidan actually completed his book, reviewed the entire thing, and finished an extra credit book. I was extremely proud. We are super excited for next year even though it will be nice to have the summer off. I am keeping up the Bible memory though and we are working on Psalm 1 together. Every week I hope to add new verses and see how many chapters of the Bible we can memorize together.

Enna- 9 months

Enna,

You are actually 9 1/2 months as I write this, but better late than never I guess! You are turning into such a fun little sweetheart these days and learning new things daily. I am amazed at at how suddenly you are taking off in growth and development.

You finally crawled this month...just before turning 9 months. You don't crawl on your hands and knees, but wriggle your way around with your elbows. You sit for a long time without going anywhere and you haven't ventured very far so we haven't had to do much as far as child-proofing the stairs yet. 

You are becoming more of an adventurous eater, eating 3 meals a day and just starting to pick up food. You are still loving purees mostly-sweet potatoes, butternut squash, carrots, zucchini are your favorites. You still don't like bananas, but I can sneak them into oatmeal in the morning. 

You have 7 teeth now and an 8th breaking through very soon. Teething has been pretty awful with you. You have been waking often at night and it has been rough, but we will get through eventually.

You still nurse about 4-5 times during the day and 1-2 times at night. I do not think we are close to weaning at this point and I have mostly enjoyed nursing. However, you are starting to bite me more often as you get more teeth and it's been a pain (quite literally).

You had your 9 month appointment one week late and you weigh 18 lbs. 2.5 oz., and are 28 1/2 in. long (47th for weight and 77th for height)

Love you sweet girl!

Mama

Easter 2014

We spent the day before Easter in Lawrence with my parents and nephews. It was a gorgeously sunny day, full of fun, eggs, and taking care of babies. :) The kids had an egg hunt and we decorated eggs together. They had so much fun and I think I enjoy these little traditions more each year. As far as the actual day, well, we were late for church, didn't get a family picture like I hoped, Seth helped lead worship all 3 services, and we hosted lunch for our combined families afterward. It was a fun time, but exhausting and not a single picture taken.