What this life asks of me

Well, it's definitely no big news around here that we deal with our fair share of tantrums on a daily basis. We are actually perfecting the art of tantrum throwing and will be starting a class on "How to Scream So Loud You Cannot Hear Anything at All" or for an alternate title, we are also considering, "How to Never Get Your Way But Still Reach Your Emotional Outburst Quota of the Day."

So, in this intense season of tantrum perfection God has been speaking to my heart.

Just little things here and there, but the impact has been BIG.

It's hard to love someone who pushes against your will. It just is.

Yes, I love always, I say. But sometimes I don't like. But, is it just that? Or am I choosing only to love the lovely, and cringe, roll my eyes, and throw my own gnarly big person fit when my world gets a little rocked?

The answer there scares me.

I don't want my love to be with conditions.

So, if love means playing that I am Aladdin and asking Jasmine "Do you trust me?" so that we can go on our 1,258th carpet ride of the day, then so be it.

If it means I cuddle longer, kiss little hands, look deep in to blue eyes and say, "I love you so much!" then let it be.

Tonight, as I cuddled the warm sweet bundle of my 3 year old daughter, lying in her toddler bed with my legs dangling over at the knees, and my face covered with soft blonde hair, I smelled her sweet breath and heard her snores as her body relaxed and drifted into sleep. The same little sweetness that just moments ago wanted to talk about "Puddleglum" from C.S. Lewis' "The Silver Chair" while rubbing my back.

 I almost missed it.

I wanted her to just go to sleep already so I could get busy with my "me" time.

Yet, this stirring, this call to love more, deeper, and unselfish has unsettled me. I can't say no as easily or push aside the neediness with excuses of laundry and dishes piled high.

Yes, there are things that need to get done. I can't just play all day and not take care of necessary tasks...but I can also take more time to listen, let my heart lead, and ask God to show me when I need to respond.

It's not simple, but it is.

He's asking me how great my love is. He's pushing me to reach out when I most want to retreat. This crazy, unpredictable life is the one I've got, I need to make the most of it-tantrums and all.

Our Real Life Homeschool

Today was one of those blistery cold days and I knew we'd be spending it all indoors, so I opted for staying in our pj's and taking pictures to document our day. I know in the future I will want to look back and remember the day in, day out, sometimes mundane, but definitely not ordinary times of life.

Nora almost always requests a learning/school activity when I am getting Aidan started on school, but she either a) does not want to do what I suggest or cooperate with the activity or b) changes it to her liking. Here's an example of option B (a clock with numbers, shapes, and blocks is a great place for sleeping Squinkies).

Then it's back to occupying Aidan with a task and sitting with him through most of it. I realized that the more work I was letting him do independently, the sloppier he got, so I've been trying to sit next to him and direct him when I see him rushing through stuff. 

And usually, at some point, we have a sweet baby join us. Love those big eyes! She sits on my lap, or I nurse her, or she occupies herself with toys while we do school. Today I let her sit with me for a little while so she could watch the interaction at the table.

You can also count on at least one or more major meltdowns from Nora-girl. I mean, the blocks won't all fit right, or something fell over, or (gasp!) the Squinkie won't stay where it's put, or something else just as life threatening or difficult.

Gotta love the girl's pouty face. She's perfected the stink eye for sure! The toy just doesn't hold its appeal anymore Mom...so she's off to....

...THE PANTRY! Oh, snacks are the cure-all for this girl's emotions! (I'm afraid she might take after her Mama on that point) Loved catching her sneaking in to find "sumpin," (notice the mood change!)

And since I denied snack until Aidan finished his handwriting, I now have two sweet girls on my lap. {My arms are always full and I'm trying to relish this time that they need SO MUCH from me instead of letting myself slip into the desire to just be alone, not touched, sat on, pulled on, whined at etc...}

Today we pulled out the paints and got busy. I needed a good activity (albeit a messy one) to keep them entertained on this cold gloomy day.

And then here is the kitchen...post lunch and painting projects, and a baby just woken up to eat. Oh my!

The rest of the day called for some listening to audio books (my new and major life-saver as a stay at home mom!). Aidan can listen to hours and he SITS STILL (unless it's mildly scary or intense in the story). They color or do puzzles and Nora plays happily by the quiet and somewhat subdued older brother (she loves to play by herself, but be near people as long as they don't bother her--so it's a win-win situation). She listens here or there, mostly catching words that make her break out into an all out belly laugh at random.

Some of our favorites:

Magic Tree House: We've now listened to almost 30 of these books. Aidan loves the adventure and if they are even mildly "scary" they resolve into something that is not scary after all. 

Half Magic: Hilarious, so funny, even for adults. I don't know if he quite gets it all...it's for older children, but a great story about how some kids find a coin that grants them wishes, but only in halves. 

Mrs. Piggle Wiggle's Magic: Just started this today and Aidan thinks it's hilarious. Mrs. Piggle Wiggle cures kids of different impolite behavior and bad habits.

Geronimo Stilton: I'm personally not a huge fan of these and I don't know if Aidan likes them as much, but he does ask for them. We just started them because we've almost run out of Magic Tree House.

Aidan also likes to listen to Adventures in Odyssey, but their episodes are shorter and he has listened to 3+ hours of books in a day. He seriously loves listening to things. I read books to the kids every day, but don't have time to sit down for hours on end, so this is a great plus to listening to these books. Most of these books are for 8-12 year olds, but Aidan is pretty advanced in reading and comprehension, so he enjoys them.

Beautiful Winter Day

The other day it was gorgeous and sunny and we went out to spend some time outside while we could. I am not a fan of winter so every time it gets a little bit above freezing, we definitely take advantage. I couldn't help taking pics of Enna in the stroller. She is so cute right now and was my only subject that wasn't running, jumping around, or refusing to look at the camera!

I took her on the swing and she loved it. It was so wonderful to see the joy in her face.

I can't get over the thumb sucking cuteness! She was tired and started sucking on her thumb, but when I snapped the pictured she looked at me with such a disgruntled expression!

 The best picture I got of Nora. She was running around in her normal over-accessorized attire. I love her sense of style because it is so crazy and unique.

Sister Sweetness!

Enna loves to be in Nora's room! I think it is because there is so much to see and touch. She likes to watch Nora play and I am already getting excited for when she can interact. I think Nora is going to be less agreeable once Enna starts crawling, but she likes for her to be in there with her now. I loved catching this sweet moments of the girls on their bellies (Nora's favorite way to play). It's time like these I don't want to forget!

6 months

Enna Bear,

This is hands down my absolute favorite baby age! I've said that 6 months is the best with each baby and you have proved it yet again...I love this stage!

You are finally sleeping longer than 30 minutes for a nap! Can I say amen, amen, and amen? I wondered if you would every get past this difficult napping stage, but a couple weeks ago it seemed to just click. You still take quick on the go naps at times, but at least once a day you sleep for 1.5 hours or more.

It's been fun getting to know you better as your personality starts to shine through. You are always smiling and making eye contact with everyone. You squeal when you see us in the morning and you giggle often.

You have 2 little teeth and are getting more. You drool all day long and if I didn't put a bib on you we'd change your outfit 4 times at least. You chew on your hands and toys all the time and are mildly more fussy, but overall you are doing well with teething (no ear infections yet, PTL!)

You are not a big eater and prefer rice cereal to anything else you have tried. You DO NOT like bananas! Every time we try them you make a horrible face and spit them out. I didn't know if was possible for a baby to refuse a banana before you. You also aren't a big fan of other foods unless I sneak them into your cereal. You do like to chew on pear slices, but anything mashed up usually gets spit back out. You like to drink water out of your sippy cup and even took some breastmilk out of it the other day! You mostly just eat once day, and nurse about 5-7 times still. You wake about once a night to eat, but last night you slept all the way through (11.5 hours). You love to sleep at night and have always done pretty well, even when you aren't feeling well. I am so thankful for that!

You don't sit up that well yet, but I think it is because you just want to lunge forward and grab everything. You love to scratch all surfaces, grab things, and love tags on toys. You play a lot in the exersaucer or on your tummy. You can roll over, but do not prefer to be on your back.

You are a thumb sucker for sure and it's been a great thing now that you can soothe yourself well with your thumb. I think this helps you sleep well in the car or when we are out and about.

Enna you are a blessing! Your sweetness makes our days so much happier and we love to see your big smile. You are very adored by your sibling and they can't seem to quit loving on you all day long!

Christmas/Cousins Visit

My brother and his family came all the way from Canada to visit for Christmas. We had a wild time with all the kids (8 of them ranging from 5 months- 5 1/2 years).

My brother with my niece Wren. She loves babies and was wanting to hold Enna.

My beautiful Mom with Nora. Nora is constantly trying to get my mom to play in her imaginary world. 

The busy room full of wrapped toys and baby toys! :) 

Nora wanted to dance to the Christmas carols we were singing. She had recently watched the Nutcracker ballet which was the inspiration for her dancing. 

One of the twin babies (my sister's boys)

I kept catching these sweet pictures of Nora standing by the tree watching all the activity.

The boys sitting together,sharing a sweet moment

And the other twin...little Eli, such a sweet little miracle

Opening presents with the cousins!

One of the best moments was when Eli started ripping the wrapping paper and laughing. There's nothing better than a baby's belly laugh.

Nora pretending to be a present

Nora had a Rapunzel/Tangled theme this Christmas. After getting dressed up she wanted us to all sing "Ten Thousand Reasons/Bless the Lord Oh My Soul" while she danced yet again.

The boys were busy "excavating" dinosaurs. They pounded away for quite awhile. It was noisy, but kept them pretty busy.

Sweet little Wren

The two oldest--they are just about 2 months apart in age and really enjoyed each other this year.

The middle 2 are exactly 2 months apart in age and had a great time playing all sorts of make believe games. Caspian would play dolls and house with her and they kept on for hours. Nora loved it!

All the babies with their grandparents! 

Xan-almost 6, Aidan-5 1/2, Caspian-3 1/2, Nora-3, Wren-16 months, Lane-8 months, Eli-8 months, and Enna-5 months

Christmas Memories

A few days before Christmas we made some sugar cookies. The kids always love helping me with this project and it always proves to be a big mess. This year was actually the easiest time I've had with getting the dough to cooperate. I found a great recipe on line, tweaked it a little to my preferences and it was perfect and easy. Nora loved talking to each cookie and arranging them while Aidan was my more "hands on" helper with rolling and cutting them out.

 Terrible hideous picture I know, but we had a Christmas party with our small group from church and wore "ugly" sweaters... (in Seth's case an ugly too small vest). It was a fun time with a great group of people we love and have had a great time getting to know this past year. We meet every week for a meal, fellowship, and study (with all our kids there too!). It's a large crowd and so much fun. We were the only 4 that dressed up that night, so we had to take a picture!

Our actual Christmas Day was spent with Seth's family. I was feeling pretty crummy coming down with some sort of terrible cold and sinus thing so I took few pictures, but we had a good low key day.

This sweet face gets me every time!