Wretched Like Me

Growing up in a family that was heavily involved in Christian ministry, I was pretty much constantly surrounded by Gospel living. I went to a private Christian school within that community and most of my friends were from families also heavily involved in ministry. It was a living, breathing,, disciple building atmosphere. I loved it.

As a child, serving God was easy. I had everything I needed. I had Godly parents to train me, a church to attend, friends who uplifted me, and a great school. It was a pleasure to be a Christ follower. And, I knew that it wasn't the case for everyone. I was naive in a lot of ways, but I had heard my fair share of "sinner" stories. I was always grateful that "I didn't have to be saved from something major" that "I had just always been a Christian." I continued to think this way for many years of my life. Always thanking God that I was never having to be freed from some addiction, rescued from a bad relationship, or in such a low place that God was my last hope. I was something of an "elite" Christian. I had never known an ultimate low. I just always "had God."

It's almost funny to me now, although a little sad. I don't really think I was wrong in my thoughts and behavior. I was truly grateful for God having kept me from spiraling into sin. The only problem was that I just did not have a good sense of how great the Gospel really is. I accepted, believed, and confessed it. I knew that it was the greatest gift, that it was the "good news" that made life worth living. I just did not realize how much I actually needed it until I matured more.

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me

I sang that hymn time and again, believing that I had been saved, but not recognizing my own wretchedness. I had never done anything entirely bad. I sinned for sure, but it was mostly small offenses. It was easy for me to feel forgiven because I didn't see the weight of my sin to be just as horrible and ugly as anyone else's.

I don't know if this is a typical response to sin for kids growing up the way I did. I think it is easy to sometimes fool yourself into thinking that somehow you don't need saving as much as the next guy.

Oh, but how wrong I have been.

Realizing my absolute wretchedness, sinfulness, and separation from God makes me that much more desiring of the Gospel and grace that is offered to me. I have come to see it more and more as I grow older. The person I used to think was "pretty good" is still so needy for God. I am just as needy as the rapist, as the murderer, as the addicted soul. I am no better in my sin. He came to save us all and even if our offenses seem "less" they still are.

All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

 There is nothing more glorious or glamorous about my "lack of sin." Sinner. That is all. We are all wretched and in need of a Savior.

But this news does not make me feel a sense of foreboding or despair because it is the greatest news of all! A Savior came for ALL and I am just as in need of Him as anybody else. His robes of righteousness cover my sin and make what was once crimson as white as snow. He doesn't hold back or play favorites, He gives this gift freely.

And as if in response to my own thoughts, these same words and ideas jumped out at me again during Day 2 of the She Reads Truth study of Hosea.

The blog post accompanying today's reading was really spot on with my thought processes the last few days.

Here's just a little snippet:

"Being found isn’t as beautiful if you don’t admit you were once lost. Receiving sight isn’t so miraculous if you weren’t once blind. Being a people of His own possession, adopted by a Heavenly and righteous Father, named as daughters of the King Almighty—those things aren’t as incredible if we don’t look full-on at the bad news first. To embrace the gospel-richness of Hosea, we must first embrace that this book is about you and me.

Once we were not His people.

Just like Hosea willingly chose Gomer—even more so—the Lord looked upon us and saw fit to make us His people. This should cause us to marvel at His goodness and give Him praise! Never once did our Father flinch at the plan (after all, it was His to begin with!) to reach out and retrieve us from a life of isolation and rebellion and make us His people."

The first sentence sums it up well for me...."Being found isn't as beautiful if you don't admit you were once lost." I have found that the older I get, the more I see my "lost" ways, my wretched heart, and need for a Savior. And all the more then I can marvel at the beauty of what He has done!

13 months

Enna,

You are already 13 months old and still are not walking. You are getting better at taking steps and really great at standing up in the middle of the room, but you still plunk down on your little behind after about 3 or 4 steps. You want to get into everything and love to climb stairs so I am just really really ready for you to get this walking thing down. My back is getting tired from bending over and "walking" you everywhere. :)

You are so fun and full of life. You are a loud screamer and full of excitement most of the time. You definitely have your opinions about things and want things just the way you like or else you fling yourself back and throw a monster fit. You are generally pretty laid back about life when you are around other people and do great at church, but when it comes to Mommy, you really let me know what you think.

You are still nursing-about 3-4 times a day and finally sleeping all the way through the night. I am feeling so much better and have even been waking early to get ready and spend time reading my Bible. It's really great! You are easy to leave and don't mind not nursing when I am gone, but you want to nurse whenever I am around.

You love to eat. You eat a lot of hummus (your absolute favorite right now) and sweet potatoes. You also like yogurt, cereal, raisins, cheese, tortillas, sweet potatoes, avocado, and black beans. You still love tea and you are so great at drinking out of a sippy cup.

You love baby dolls and like to sleep with one for naps and night. You also like your blankets a certain way and seem to like lying on your side with the bumper partially folded down like a pillow. You still suck your thumb for comfort and to go to sleep.

You are a little terrified of animals. It is actually quite funny. You are super excited to see them, but if they get too close you freak out and grab me frantically.

You say "mama" and "dada" all the time and are thrilled when Daddy gets home every day. You sure do love  your Daddy.

You are growing and learning new things every day which makes this stage with you really fun even though we have to watch you every second right now. You are super loving to your siblings and give hugs and pat their backs. It is so sweet to watch you develop relationships which each person in our family.

Love,

Mama

Summer Recap

Our summer ended up being much busier than I had originally expected. We had a few weeks at the beginning where it felt like we were moving from one thing to another with not a lot of breathing room in between.

We attended (and volunteered) at our church's VBS,

during which our living room downstairs flooded,

we went to Lawrence to visit my parents,

we read a lot,

Enna had Roseola,

the kids had swimming lessons for 2 weeks straight,

we went to a skate party,

hung out at the park,

climbed some awesome trees,

played a lot of board games,

swam a lot (usually while Enna napped),

dressed up like cows,

practiced sharing our toys,

worked on self-feeding,

went to Deanna Rose,

celebrated Enna's first birthday,

and went to Silver Dollar City.

It was a fun summer, but I'm glad that we are getting back in the swing of things with school. I am craving a good routine and schedule for our family (still working on that one).

Summer Family Vacation 2014

We decided to take a mini vacation to Branson with my parents and had a really great time. We spent 3 days in a row at Silver Dollar City which was a lot of fun, but also super tiring. Aidan and Nora were at such great ages for the park and while it was challenging with a baby, it was still very worth it.

We tried for a family pic, but getting five people to look at the camera at the same time is nearly impossible. This was day 3 at the park, and we were a little weary, but ready for some more fun.

Our first night there, we took a walk down to the lake near where we were staying. Enna was such a trooper during the whole trip. She spent a lot of time in the stroller, but was pretty happy even when she had to nap on the go. She is officially the fist baby I've had that actually napped in the stroller.

These two sillies waiting for a ride. The park was pretty crowded even though we went during the week, so there was a lot of waiting in lines. They did great and were pretty patient.

This girl wanted to ride with her Daddy. She was super brave though and she had a great time on most of the rides.

We love the Lost River ride and Nora was nervous about getting wet (which she didn't get wet at all this first time). 

Aidan was super excited about getting wet and ended up getting most of the water this time.

However, 2nd time we tried the ride, Nora ended up getting more soaked than I had ever seen. It was kinda like we threw her in the water. She was wet from head to toe! She thought it was funny thankfully and we changed her clothes right after.

Before we headed home, we spent the morning at a mini golf place that had a dinosaur theme. These pictures had me laughing. This was the first day it was legitimately hot. We had such nice weather for July and it was such a blessing.

On the drive home, everyone was tired, especially our littlest sweetheart. She slept for at least half the trip which was a blessing. 

My Baby Turns One!

Oh my word, baby girl, you are already a year old. Time has flown by and I am rather melancholy at the fact that my baby is growing up.

We didn't get to celebrate on your actual birthday because we were spending the day at Silver Dollar City, but the following weekend we threw you a little party. I am so very glad we did because you seemed to know it was your day. You wore the sweet little tutu Nora wore on her 1st birthday and were just adorable.

You pretty much love to get into everything right now. You aren't walking, but standing on your own pretty well and walking with assistance. You seem cautious about trying to take any steps on your own and promptly sit down if we let go of you.

The best part of your celebration was seeing you open gifts. You knew they were YOURS and you were delighted. You did not want anyone to mess with them or take them away from you and were very vocal about it. You loved the attention too!

 I made a chocolate zucchini cake and homemade raspberry icing. It was a delicious combo even though you fussed so much for a taste and abandoned it shortly after. You did demolish your cupcake though!

It is so hard to believe that you have already been here for a whole year. You are so much fun and continue to be a nice little mix of spitfire and sweetness. You definitely have some good lungs and a high pitched scream, but you are also so giggly and cuddly too. We love your fun personality and all your little dancing. You love music and you love to have fun. Watching you interact with your siblings is a daily pleasure and I love your independent spirit. You are anxious to communicate more and more and point your little finger at whatever you want (pretty much everything!). You love to eat and you love drinking peppermint tea! You constantly say something that sounds kinda like "enna" as you point at what you want. You do say: baby, bath, uh-oh, night night, mama, dada, and repeat a variety of noises and sounds. You also nod your head yes and no when asked questions and seem to know exactly what you want most of the time. You hate getting your diaper changed, you love your thumb, and you sometimes love sleep and sometimes don't. You are such a delight and bring so much more fun into our crazy family.

Love you,

Mama

One year stats: 19 lbs. 11 oz. 30 in.