Wretched Like Me

Growing up in a family that was heavily involved in Christian ministry, I was pretty much constantly surrounded by Gospel living. I went to a private Christian school within that community and most of my friends were from families also heavily involved in ministry. It was a living, breathing,, disciple building atmosphere. I loved it.

As a child, serving God was easy. I had everything I needed. I had Godly parents to train me, a church to attend, friends who uplifted me, and a great school. It was a pleasure to be a Christ follower. And, I knew that it wasn't the case for everyone. I was naive in a lot of ways, but I had heard my fair share of "sinner" stories. I was always grateful that "I didn't have to be saved from something major" that "I had just always been a Christian." I continued to think this way for many years of my life. Always thanking God that I was never having to be freed from some addiction, rescued from a bad relationship, or in such a low place that God was my last hope. I was something of an "elite" Christian. I had never known an ultimate low. I just always "had God."

It's almost funny to me now, although a little sad. I don't really think I was wrong in my thoughts and behavior. I was truly grateful for God having kept me from spiraling into sin. The only problem was that I just did not have a good sense of how great the Gospel really is. I accepted, believed, and confessed it. I knew that it was the greatest gift, that it was the "good news" that made life worth living. I just did not realize how much I actually needed it until I matured more.

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me

I sang that hymn time and again, believing that I had been saved, but not recognizing my own wretchedness. I had never done anything entirely bad. I sinned for sure, but it was mostly small offenses. It was easy for me to feel forgiven because I didn't see the weight of my sin to be just as horrible and ugly as anyone else's.

I don't know if this is a typical response to sin for kids growing up the way I did. I think it is easy to sometimes fool yourself into thinking that somehow you don't need saving as much as the next guy.

Oh, but how wrong I have been.

Realizing my absolute wretchedness, sinfulness, and separation from God makes me that much more desiring of the Gospel and grace that is offered to me. I have come to see it more and more as I grow older. The person I used to think was "pretty good" is still so needy for God. I am just as needy as the rapist, as the murderer, as the addicted soul. I am no better in my sin. He came to save us all and even if our offenses seem "less" they still are.

All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

 There is nothing more glorious or glamorous about my "lack of sin." Sinner. That is all. We are all wretched and in need of a Savior.

But this news does not make me feel a sense of foreboding or despair because it is the greatest news of all! A Savior came for ALL and I am just as in need of Him as anybody else. His robes of righteousness cover my sin and make what was once crimson as white as snow. He doesn't hold back or play favorites, He gives this gift freely.

And as if in response to my own thoughts, these same words and ideas jumped out at me again during Day 2 of the She Reads Truth study of Hosea.

The blog post accompanying today's reading was really spot on with my thought processes the last few days.

Here's just a little snippet:

"Being found isn’t as beautiful if you don’t admit you were once lost. Receiving sight isn’t so miraculous if you weren’t once blind. Being a people of His own possession, adopted by a Heavenly and righteous Father, named as daughters of the King Almighty—those things aren’t as incredible if we don’t look full-on at the bad news first. To embrace the gospel-richness of Hosea, we must first embrace that this book is about you and me.

Once we were not His people.

Just like Hosea willingly chose Gomer—even more so—the Lord looked upon us and saw fit to make us His people. This should cause us to marvel at His goodness and give Him praise! Never once did our Father flinch at the plan (after all, it was His to begin with!) to reach out and retrieve us from a life of isolation and rebellion and make us His people."

The first sentence sums it up well for me...."Being found isn't as beautiful if you don't admit you were once lost." I have found that the older I get, the more I see my "lost" ways, my wretched heart, and need for a Savior. And all the more then I can marvel at the beauty of what He has done!