3 months: Enna

Enna,

You are the sweetest little thing right now! How I love your big eyes and smiles. You are so active and aware and love to interact with the world.

This month has been fun. You started sleeping 10-12 hours straight at night for a couple of weeks. I was pretty surprised by your sudden sleep change after getting up several times a night with you for  the first 2 months. Then, you got a cold and started waking up again. I really can't complain though because you are still sleeping from about 8-4 or 5am and then again until around 7:30-8. Your naps on the other hand are pretty short and you don't like to go to sleep during the day. It seems like some days napping is easy for you and others you fight it all day long. 

Putting you to sleep is the hardest part of life with you right now, although some days you put yourself to sleep with minimal crying. You have changed preferences so many times  it's hard to know what to do for you. It used to be that you had to stand and be bounced, but now we can sit and rock you. You liked to be held upright, but then cradled, and now upright again. You took a pacifier to be rocked, then your thumb, and now your fists or thumb or nothing. You used to like being patted, but now you know we are there and you want to be picked up. And, screaming usually wore you out that we could pick you up and you'd relax, but now you just want to look around and talk instead. Oh Enna, I long for predictability with you, but I also know that it will come with time and that will also mean you are older and I'm not sure I'm ready for that either.

You are super content during the day when you are awake, which makes the lack of napping much easier on all of us. You can sit happily for long periods of time in your bouncy seat (your preferred place to "play"). You also love to be talked to and just like to look around at everything and everyone. You have your fussy time in the evening and want to just sit on our laps or be held.

Your smile is huge and you really smile with your whole face. You are starting to talk more and you are close to giggling. Oh, I can't wait!

You do not take a bottle still and you nurse about 6 or so times a day. You eat every 2ish hours right now, but sometimes go 3-4 in the afternoon. You weigh somewhere between 13-14 lbs. and are at least 25 inches long (or longer). You are wearing 6 month stuff already because you are so long and lean. 

You are such a fun part of our family and I love how everyone loves on you. I so enjoy your sweet little snuggles and I can't wait to get to know you better.

Love,

Mama

Aidan- 5.5

Aidan at 5.5 years old

Likes:

-holding/kissing/talking to Enna

-reading

-SCHOOL

-playing Super Mario

-playing with friends

-riding your bike

-Awana

New things about you:

Learned how to ride a bike without training wheels (10-7-13)

Started reading books on own with very little help sounding out words 

Earned your wings and first jewel at Awana

Started cleaning room by yourself and doing a great job

Aidan,

You are still a bundle of energy, 100% passionate about what you are doing. I love hanging out with you and listening to you talk. You absorb knowledge at a phenomenal rate. I love to hear your funny questions about the world and like how you enjoy life. You have taught me a lot about life and it's been fun to see you mature and grow. You are a good big brother and love your baby sister so much. We are still working on your relationship with Nora. You are a smart, helpful, and super silly. I can't believe you are already 1/2 way to being 6! It's fun to see you grow up, but I know I'll miss these years with you someday.

Love, Mama

Catching Up

Life is so busy these days and I feel like I'm running on autopilot. I never have enough time to get everything done in a day that I want or even really need to do. But, I'm learning to let go more and more and accept that things will not be perfect.

This bubbly sweet little peanut will be 3 months old in a week! It's flying by and I have been feeling melancholy about it. I really don't desire to be pregnant again, but I'm also not ready to be experiencing my "last" baby yet. I know that ultimately God will have to show me what He desires for our family and I need to just rest in that and enjoy the sweet innocence a baby brings. This picture was actually one of her first smiles I caught on camera at around 5 weeks old. She smiles all the time now and is even on the verge of giggling.

These 3 cutie pies all lined up just melt my heart. My sister's little miracle twin baby boys are exactly 3 months older than Enna. The funny thing is that she is catching up to them fast! She is not quite as big as Lane (on the right), but has surpassed Eli (left).

Right before Enna was 2 months old we flew to PA for my cousin's wedding and Grandma's 80th birthday. It was a sweet time with family...potentially one of the most memorable times I've ever had there (and there have been many!). My grandma is one of the strongest women you'd ever meet. She amazes me time and again. It was wonderful to see her and have her meet Enna.

We've been trying to get out for walks most evenings to savor the nice Fall-ish weather and also to soak up the last bit of sunlight before the time changes and the darkness of winter comes upon us (can you tell I'm excited?). Enna likes her stroller and looking at all the trees. The older two either run or ride bikes. It's a great way to end the day!

The other thing that Enna loves right now is getting a bath. She can be fussy and then I plop her in the warm water and she just gets all calm and full of smiles. I love her sweet little rolls!

It's a Hard Knock Life...

...for Nora, that is. :)

Poor thing keeps falling asleep in random places at random times, but NOT in her bed and NOT during quiet time. Quiet time is really anything but quiet these days. And yes, she wears clothes, but had spilled water on them, had a huge screaming fit about it, took them off, and then huffed up the stairs...I guess she didn't quite make it. :)

Moments of "Normal"

The other night we went on a walk as a family. It was a perfect cool evening, giving us a glimpse of fall weather. Enna wasn't screaming in the stroller. It was lovely.

When we came to the park the older two ran to the swings and I ran with them, pushing them and giving underdogs. As I ran, and pushed, and laughed...I felt some normal creeping in.

When you've been in a season of life where your whole body is consumed with growing another little person, and this process makes you sick, tired, and cumbersome, you forget...you forget what it is to run and play and enjoy the pushing of the swings.

I took a picture to remind myself that there are moments of "normal." They come and go these days.

He Giveth More Grace

Oh to live life in a way that I could fully embrace and understand grace!

This 3 kid gig has been stretching me in ways that I had not quite imagined. I find myself needing an extra hand or two, but having to do with what I've got instead. :)

There have been times of desperate brokenness, a feeling like I can't do one more thing for one more person, and a pouring out of myself to such a degree that I hardly recognize who I am. Sounds a little extreme, I know, but that is where I've found myself at times.

One night, after having spent most of the day holding a screaming baby, cleaning up potty accidents, and disciplining my oldest, I fell to my knees in my bedroom, lifted my arms in surrender, and just asked the Lord (in my very desperate voice) to please help me. I didn't even know how I wanted Him to do it, just to HELP in any way. This became my cry for days on end as we struggled through some very tough weeks with everyone.

In the midst of it all, I found my prayers were changing. They were more like "Lord, change me...help me to love, help me to be thankful..." instead of "Please help this baby to stop crying and go to sleep,"  and "Please help my children to stop doing things to hurt each other!" I saw a softening of my heart that I had not felt in awhile. I was embracing them even when I didn't feel like it, thanking God for them when they were driving me to utter madness, and loving them even when they were throwing themselves on the floor and screaming about everything I was doing to ruin their lives.

I found that speaking things regardless of my feelings helped me even more. I would smile and say, "Do you know that Mommy loves you so much?" when my middle child was crying for the thousandth time about something silly. I would tell them that they were God's gifts to me so that I could remember it and treat them like it, instead of acting like they were nuisances in my life. And even though I still felt poured out in every way, I was able to actually receive the grace that was waiting there for me.

Now, I haven't been doing this perfectly and there are days that I react wrongly, that I forget their value, and I lose it over something small. Then, I laugh a little and think that God must see me as a tantrum throwing 3 year old sometimes...and how embarrassing that must be for me even though I don't see it. Yet, He loves me through the roller coaster of it all.

A couple weeks ago I went to Pennsylvania to visit my mom's side of the family for my cousin's wedding and Grandma's 80th birthday. While we were there we had this wonderful time singing hymns together. My aunt had printed out some copies of one of my Grandma's favorites, one I had never heard before. As they sang, tears were starting to fill my eyes as I realized that this song was for me. I brought home the words so I could read them again.

He Giveth More Grace

He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials he multiplies peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father's full giving is only begun.

Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
The Father both thee and they load will upbear.

His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.