Sometimes it takes hurtful things happening to see a closer glimpse into the Father's heart for His children.
I took the kids to the park today and we hadn't been there long before they wanted to eat their picnic lunch. Some of the older kids were climbing on the picnic table and I let Nora up there as well because I knew if I deterred her, she would probably try climbing herself and I didn't want her to get hurt. It's funny how in hindsight, I should have been thinking clearer, but I guess I wasn't.
The inevitable happened. Just as I was reaching to stop her from scooting too far back, she pushed away from me and fell backwards off the top of the table, smacked into the bench, and then twisted and fell face first on the concrete. It was so fast, but so slow. I was yelling and trying to grab her, but I couldn't. And it happened and in the short moment, I felt a horrible fear and panic. I scooped her up and she was bleeding and crying, and her face was dirty and I just held her in my arms comforting the sobs, thankful she was coherent.
She is now home napping, with big scrapes on her face, a bloody finger, and a swollen little eye. As I held her in my arms and rocked her to sleep, I couldn't help but touch the sore places and thank the Lord that she was okay.
Nothing hurts worse than your kids hurting. Or getting hurt. Or seeing them get hurt and not being able to do anything about it.
And then I thought of the Father God watching his Son Jesus be crucified and knowing that He couldn't do anything about it because it was His predestined purpose. I can't imagine the agony. My split second experience seeing my child fall so helplessly was nothing compared to the torture and pain of the crucifixion. How deep His love. How vast beyond all measure. It is. I know it must be. I cannot imagine anything worse, but it was done for us.
I sit in awe of the One who loved so much He suffered the giving of His child, the pain of sacrifice.
How can I ever question the love of God? It is beyond anything I can imagine.
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