A random scramble

I had some pictures I planned to blog, but never did and was going back through them tonight and thought I'd lump them together with one post. 

First 2 are just 3 days after Enna's birth (she was so tiny!) and her first time going to church. She was sucking so hard on her little fingers (but never could keep a paci in).

Sweet boy just loves his baby sister and would love cradling her in his arms. She was often really fussy and wouldn't cooperate for him to hold her long, but it was so sweet when she'd let him. He'd hold her now the same way except she's too wiggly.

I took some pictures of the kids one Sunday after church. They are all growing up so fast and so sweet. They weren't all looking at the camera, but love the candidness of their smiles and giggles.

Enna went through a stage where she was screaming bloody murder if we tried to bathe her. I got the idea to put her in the bath with the other 2 to see if that would help. She actually liked it! 

And at it's culmination, I feel a love-hate relationship with 2013

Oh, this year. This year was tough for me. I was pregnant for 1/2 of it (and miserably so) and then I gave birth and found myself floundering in this motherhood x3 state where I felt completely out of control, sleep deprived, and unsure of myself.

I yelled more this year than I wanted to. I cried and boo-hooed about my sad little life taking care of everyone else's needs 24/7. I didn't relish who I was or what I was doing, but pretty much just pity partied it most of the time.

Oh 2013, when I look at what I was like this year, I feel a little ashamed.

But, there's HOPE...and I'm sure JOY and PEACE are waiting to be found too! What great news this is...the news of the Gospel, really. Jesus took all my shame and my poor behavior, and my 3 year old like tantrums about this year and wiped all that muck away. I can truly shine in His light and I don't have to be ashamed anymore.

I hope someday when my kids look back on our memories together (although few were compiled this year), they will not remember the Momma who lost it time and again, and just couldn't seem to snap out of the drudgery of the season. I hope they can read this and see me in my real-ness and my openness as a testimony of goodness that I cannot claim as my own.

To my son....

I hope that you know that I love you even though I often act most frustrated with you. I have been overjoyed watching you learn at home and at school. Helping you learn to read and watching you take off with it has been so neat. You have also learned how to ride a bike without training wheels, memorized ALL of your Awana book in one semester, and started relying on Jesus more. You have started praying aloud, speaking words of faith, and asking God to be the Lord of your life. Hands down, some of my favorite moments of this year! I am so very proud of you. I have watched you take your passion for solving problems and come up with a plan to go door to door asking for money and food items to donate to a local non-profit. You spent a whole hour in the bitter cold knocking on doors and bravely stating your mission. You are a going to be a world changer!

Aidan, my prayer for you this year is that you would grow in wisdom and that you would have ears to hear the Word of God. That you would be courageous and outspoken for the Kingdom. That you would continue to be a problem solver who seeks to make right what is wrong in this world. And, that you would serve others with unselfishness, desire to speak the truth, and remain passionate in all you do.

To my eldest daughter...

As the middle child. sometimes I fear you are overlooked. I do my best to love you and connect with you, but know that I often fall short because of my own selfish desires. You have been such a light in our lives this year, even with your struggles with having a new sibling. You have sung a lot, played make believe until you crashed (somewhere sprawled out on the floor, stairs, couch etc...), made us laugh (a lot!), hugged us and loved on us, and spurred us on to greater depths of creativity.

Nora, my prayer for you this year is that you remain true to yourself. That you don't lose your independent and creative spirit and that you continue to be a beacon of light to all those you come in contact with. May you increase your passion for music, your love and understanding of God, and your heart to obey.

P.S. I chose this picture of you because it's just well...so YOU. Crazy hairstyle, Snow White dress, and playing store.

To my littlest...

Enna, you came to me at a time where I felt weary of soul and heart and I struggled to find a way to embrace all your intensity with joy and acceptance. I love you truly, but deep down resented the struggles you imposed. Enna, "renewer" as your name means...I see now that you are truly that. But first, you came and helped me weed out all the muck in my heart....the renewing part that is ugly and unattractive. I see that you brought out a desperation in me that I had yet to feel as a mother, and in that I began to understand this process of renewal. Your sweet smiles and giggles and our new rhythm together has been like fresh cool water to me. You delight my heart, even on the darkest days.

Enna, my prayer for you is that you grow healthy and strong this year. That you find love everywhere you look and that you continue to help me grow as a mother. I pray that you will teach us all to enjoy life in the moment and not take things for granted.


While I still feel like I've got a long way to go, I'm hopeful for what lies ahead this year. We've truly had a busy year after moving across the country just 14 months ago, living with my parents for 3 months, getting pregnant, moving in our new home in January, having a baby, starting the homeschool journey with Aidan, and going to a new church. Whew! It's been quite a ride.

So long 2013, you've been great...err terrible...I mean good. :)

Enna- 5 months

Enna,

I'm almost 2 weeks late in writing this little monthly update and I have no good pictures to contribute, but nevertheless I must write before I skip 5 months altogether!

It's been a busy month and by far my favorite with you. You have suddenly blossomed into such a fun baby and so interactive. The bloody murder screamy days are behind us (crossing fingers) and you are surprising us with your easy-going manner.

You still sleep very little during the day, with a random long nap thrown in every couple weeks or so (I think you finally decide you need to catch up a bit). You do sleep about 13-14 hours a night and wake once (sometimes twice) between 4-6 to eat. You usually are in bed between 7:30-8 and wake anytime from 7:30-9:30, with the average being close to 9am. I love that you sleep in, but wish your brother and sister would sleep longer too! You have no predictable nap routine and I've learned to just throw all expectations or schedule ideas out the window...you will not conform to a set pattern, but just do your thing day in and day out. You can stay awake for hours on end and still be smiling and playing like you have all the energy in the world.

Your favorite things right now:
-putting things in your mouth
-reaching for and grabbing everything(even your feet!)
-scratching on every new surface (Aidan did this same thing)
-playing in your exersaucer (all the time!)
-going places (church, someone's house, anywhere that has new, fun things to look at)
-screaming with delight, giggling at your siblings
-looking at books with fun colors and pictures
-being sung to by Mommy or Daddy
-sucking your thumb

Things you used to hate, but now don't mind:
-riding in the car used to be an all out screamfest, but now you are quiet and happy and often fall asleep (gasp!)
-you went through a phase of being freaked out about baths for a few weeks, but now are fine with it again
-taking walks in the stroller
-sleeping in your bed!
-putting yourself to sleep (this is a case by case basis, but we are making HUGE progress!)
-waking up in your bed (it used to be a horrible tragic thing to find yourself in there, but now you roll over and coo for awhile unless you have a gas bubble)

Oh Enna, you are a constantly changing wonder. You have definitely forsaken the pacifier now and prefer your thumb (only the right one like your older brother did). You do know how to suck it both lying on your back, stomach, or sitting upright in the carseat (which is probably the reason you are the first of our children to fall asleep easily in the car at this age). You finally started soothing yourself to sleep and sometimes lay your head right down, but other naps you scream and roll around and get all worked up. You don't fall fast asleep in the baby carrier anymore, but you still like to be carried. You love to nurse to sleep on occasion, but don't need to and sometimes won't go to sleep even when I try to nurse you to sleep. There just isn't that ONE thing that I can say I've got figure out with you.

You are going to be the life of the party in this family. Oh wait...we already have 2 of those! :) You never want to stop and take a break from the action. You give all sorts of eye contact to people around you and great big smiles. We get lots of comments on how HUGE your mouth opens when you smile (or cry). You are going to a be an early mover I think....not certain, but you seem to want to get places like the other two did.

You got 2 teeth this month (the earliest of the 3), but you are still our tiniest baby overall. At your 4 month appt. (1 week late), you weighed in at 13 lbs. 9 oz. and were 25.5 inches long. The smallest by 1.5 lbs. and longest by 1/2 an inch! You are still a great nurser and eat about 6 times every day. I started you on rice cereal and you still only eat once a day. I've tried a few other foods, but you seem to not like food as much as the cereal (which is pretty much just thickened breastmilk at this point).

You are so sweet and everybody loves you! We are really enjoying you more and more and can't wait to see your personality blossom even more in the coming months.

Love,

Mama

Enna- 4 months

Enna,

There are no words to describe these pictures---eek! heart melting cuteness! You are a bundle of sweetness mixed with some intense personality. 

You were pretty much sick this entire month and it was hard for us. We spent A LOT of time together, you and me. You decided that Mommy was best for sleeping on, and that sleeping was way overrated, but we persevered through it all.

You pretty much stopped napping longer than 30 minutes give or take 10. You can even sleep for 5 minutes in the car and call it good. Crazy baby! You take about 3 naps a day (very short naps) which usually take awhile to get you settled down for. I tend to let you sleep in the baby carrier more often than not because it's the no hassle no fuss way to get you to conk out. If you think I'm trying to get you to take a nap, you all out scream like your life depends on it.

For all the lack of sleeping ( although, did I mention, you are doing pretty well at night?), you are pretty content and happy to be playing. You love your exersaucer and you pretty much stay in that most of the time while drooling, chewing on your hands, and grinning from ear to ear at us.

You are social. You love to talk and coo and smile at us all the time, but you also like your space and don't always like the hugs and squeezes you get from your siblings.

You are pretty easy to take places (an on the go baby), but being at home is hard because you hate to settle down to sleep and it makes it hard with our schedule and trying to homeschool!

You decided that you are now freaked out about taking a bath and scream like crazy when I put you in the water...on the flip side you giggle when I change your diaper. 

My favorite thing with you is nursing you every day. You are so sweet and you rub your little hands on me as you eat. You nurse a lot during the day. I started nursing you more on demand when you were sick so we haven't gotten back to a schedule really. I'd say you nurse about 2-3 hours though most of the time. 

You are such a great addition to our family and I am so blessed to have you. God is so good to us and we are so grateful for you.

Mama

Halloween 2013

Ugh...I'm almost a month behind in posting this!

Life is busy and full....full of good things, but just keeps me on my toes most of the time.

Nora is "Snow White" almost every day, so it seemed easy enough to just have her be that for Halloween. I crocheted up a little hat for Enna and she went as "Snow White's apple."

Aidan was supposed to be the Transformer "Bumblebee", but he decided the day of Halloween that he wanted to be a pirate again...so I dug through some boxes and scrounged up his costume from last year.

These 3. So blessed. So full of life over here.

Crazy to think that Enna was just beginning to form in my belly last year unbeknownst to me at the time...and here we are a year later!

So They Say...Funny Stuff I Don't Want to Forget

Nora was playing with a decorative cross that was sitting outside next to our koi pond. She looked up and said, "This is where Jesus died."

Nora praying one day as we got in the car (after a particularly not so great day full of naughtiness and my wrong responses): "Dear God, help us to be kind and good and that everybody can play on the Kindle." :)

Aidan was walking around the house with a stud finder. He put it on Enna and exclaimed, "This thing thinks Enna is made of wood!"

Asked Nora what happened to her face (there was a scratch on her forehead). She replied (sung to the tune of Jingle Bells) "Aidan, Aidan, Aidan all the way!"

Nora adding "d" to the end of things:
Do you want some root beerd?
It's a dinosaurd!
Juice makes my bottom sored.

Aidan explaining Gobstoppers:
"They get lighter and then they lose their strength."

I asked Nora what the snake's name was in the Garden of Eden. Her reply? "I don't know....naughty words?"

Nora asked me if we could pet animals at the zoo. I said, "No, I don't think so." She asked, "Are they fragile?" Aidan piped in and said, "Just the females!"

Nora stated after she had been punished: "My eyebrows are pouting!" (she often furrows her eyebrows when unhappy)

Aidan told Nora that her drawings of people did not look like people so he drew one of his own to show her how. She looked at his drawing and said, "That looks like a cricket!"

Awhile back I had told a story about my Grandma getting confused thinking a bar of soap she was given as a gift was supposed to be edible. She was gnawing on it and then exclaimed that it was soap and we all thought it was so hilarious. I don't remember directly telling this to the children, but they must have overheard because about a month later I was telling Nora not to eat toothpaste (she was sneaking in the bathroom during the day) and she replied, without missing a beat, "You said a Grandmother ate soap last day." I cracked up laughing and was shocked at her response.

Nora was walking behind Seth at the grocery store and he let out some gas (quietly). That girl has quite a nose and she loudly exclaimed, "Daddy, you have a stinky bottom!"

Louisburg Cider Mill-10-26-13

The last time we went to the cider mill Nora was just 3 weeks old and Aidan was barely 2.5. It was way more fun this time with the kids being older.

Trying to get a picture of these two without a pained expression on someone's face is so hard these days. Can't believe how big they are getting!

Enna's favorite place to sleep: on Mommy, but also in a baby carrier. My carrier of choice right now is the Lille baby. Very similar to the Ergo, but less bulky and the fit is more comfortable for me. Still gives the right kind of support to my back and shoulders though. I use this almost every day!

I was really wanting to get some pics of me and my girls. Unfortunately, Enna was sleeping during a lot of this outing, but I got to get some fun pics with my sweet Nora. She is such a delight and joy!

Love her!

And another...people say we look a lot alike, but I actually think she looks more like Seth's family.

Sun in their eyes, but holding hands. :) They are actually not too far off in height! Nora is wearing almost the same size clothes as Aidan and they are 2 years apart! People always assume they are closer in age.

Hay ride!

Love the confused expression on Nora's face!

And little Enn woke up to enjoy the ride too although it was a little bouncy!

Hill slide: This was new to us! The kids got filthy, but they went on the hay ride twice so they could go slide, so I would say it was a hit. :)

Enna was wearing a hat (by me) and a sweet little knit cardigan (from a friend).

When this girl is happy, it makes the world seem right. 

Waiting for cider donuts and apple cider! Trying to get a picture of all 3 is nearly impossible. Aidan loves to hold Enna though!

Me and the mill...a picture taken by a stranger. :)

My little Enna bear finally awake and helping me model my crocheted items (hat on Enna, scarf on me). It was such a gorgeous sunny day!