"It's so nice that you can do that"

I feel like I get a lot of interesting responses to my staying home with the children. It's not like it's a foreign concept, but when I am asked "What do you do?" and my reply is, "I stay at home with my children," the general response is "It's so nice that you can do that."

Honestly, I struggle with how to answer to this. Usually, I nod, and say, "Yes, it is a privilege."

BUT....

I want to say a lot more.

I feel like a lot of people imagine that if you are staying home then your husband must make a ton of money to support your family and that it is so nice that you are able to do that. I get that vibe a lot. Oh, how nice for you! You are able to stay home and don't need to work because your one income meets all your needs. 


HOWEVER,

the truth of the matter is that I choose to stay home with my children and it is not without its sacrifices. Staying home with my children means not having cable, or a smart phone, driving a car that is 10+ years old, not having 2 vehicles (thankfully, we do now), not going out to eat very often (unless it's free, cheap, or with coupons), not eating as much meat, not buying things new, and so much more. And I am okay with that. I don't need a lot of those things. I enjoy buying things used and I am not ashamed to shop at garage sales. I am okay with driving an older car and I am okay with making whatever financial sacrifices possible to be at home. It is a privilege, but one that I have deemed important enough to make happen. I believe that most people can make it work and can make that choice too. I realize that some situations are more difficult than others, but we have been in difficult financial situations where my having a full-time job seemed the best answer and we still didn't jump on board. I value this time with my children. I don't want to give that to anyone else. I don't want to miss these moments. And I don't think I'll ever look back and wish I had more money or less financial stress (would be nice for sure). I will however regret not spending these years with my family.

I realize this post may be controversial and offensive to some. It is really just the way I see things and I understand that others don't agree. I don't think any less of my mom friends that work outside of the home. I personally know that I could not balance both and feel like I was giving enough to my family. So, for me, this works.

It's not easy, but for our family, it's what's best.