Call it what you may...third trimester stress, preschool aged children, endless household projects, and all around busy-ness...but I've been in a cycle of little control, lots of stress, and overall disorganization.
The funny thing in all of this is that I am desperately trying to get organized. I make lists, I conquer, I clean all day, and then there is just more to do. And more. It doesn't stop. And sometimes I feel like having lists only makes it more overwhelming.
My kids are needy. Aren't they all? But wait, my kids are more needy than yours. :) We're going through this stage of stretching as my oldest is muddling through understanding boundaries, respecting authority, and practicing kindness to his sister. While on the other hand, the littlest one is pushing for independence, tantrum perfecting, and very much wanting her way. I find that most days I feel like sitting on the floor and crying. Instead, I am trying very hard to manage them while feeling very much so like I am failing.
And then there is the belly. This huge belly that gets in the way of things and feels uncomfortable. I want to be me again. My body. And yet there is a wonderful beautiful child in there that I have spent less time marveling over than I should. Where, oh, where is my grateful heart?
The fact is, most of my problems come down to not spending enough time with Jesus. You see...everybody needs me ALL THE TIME. I hit the ground running and I feel bedraggled and worn out. I have this list too. This unending list of things to do...oh, and God did you hear that child screaming just now? I am full of excuses and unable to clear my mind for a moment to hear Him.
So, after another long week of doing it myself and feeling forlorn I opened up a devotional and read this.
"Bring me your mind for rest and renewal. Let me infuse My Presence into your thoughts. As your mind stops racing, your body relaxes and you regain awareness of Me. This awareness is vital to your spiritual well-being; it is your lifeline, spiritually speaking....This was part of my original design for mankind. Adam and Eve used to walk with me in the garden, before their expulsion from Eden. I want you to walk with Me in the garden of your heart, where I have taken up permanent residence."
Be still my heart.
I love the way that the Lord speaks in different ways.
Interestingly this spoke to my needs better than I even understood them. I have said several times in the last couple of weeks that I just feel like my mind is muddled, like I'm trudging through murky waters and I can't seem to get it together, that even reading my Bible seems like a disjointed exercise. I very much want to be engaging my mind and receiving from the Lord, but I really need to clean out my mind. I need to seek renewal.
Renew me oh God.
I know that I won't be clicking my heels and finding a checked off list and a sparkling clean house any time soon, but my desire is that my heart's desire would be more to soak in His Presence, to "walk with [Him] in the garden of [my] heart" and not try to fix the world's (or at least my own little world's) problems.
Oh let it be.
Friday, May 24, 2013
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Too Many Things and Too Little Time
I keep finding my list of "to-do's" getting longer and my time to do them getting shorter and shorter. I don't know why I'm always inspired to do a lot of projects while entering the last few weeks of pregnancy, but so be it.
So, I'm 30 weeks+ pregnant now (picture taken a week ago).
And, apparently, the whole world thinks this baby is coming any day and wants to tell me about it. :)
As far as pregnancy goes, I've had more rough weeks than smooth ones, but (knock on wood) things have been going pretty well the last week. I am having more energy (thanks to extra iron), my heart palpitations that were consistent for about 2 weeks are gone, the baby has moved from her nice little spot on my cervix (PRAISE JESUS!), and I am still sleeping somewhat. Now, bending over, picking up children, and chasing 2.5 year olds are not among my favorite activities, but I can't complain too much. I've been walking at least 4 times a week for about 45 minutes and that has really helped out my overall energy.
The kids are keeping me busy as ever. Our backyard is the hub of the neighborhood and we often have a crowd of kids in and out all evening. Our kids are loving the nice weather for playing outside and I am very grateful for our house and fenced in yard (also our swing set and trampoline).
We are trying to get some bedrooms painted and organization of our office accomplished before the baby arrives. I feel like I'm in constant "project mode", but love the feeling of checking things off my list. I don't think I've ever been quite as prepared for a baby before (not there yet, but where I plan to be by the time she arrives). Nora's arrival was in the middle of packing to move across the country, so things were in absolute disarray and chaotic for those first few weeks. I am so glad to feel settled here and to be getting our home ready with the plan to be living in it for years to come.
Seth and I are going on a trip to SC in 13 days. Just the two of us. For a week. He has to be there for work, but we are going a little early to visit with friends and spend a couple days at the beach. I don't know the last time we've done something like this and we've never left our kids for this long before! I'm a little nervous, but I know they will be fine.
So, in a nutshell that is life right now. Nothing to out of the ordinary, nothing to blogworthy. I've been horrible at taking pictures of anything, but I hope that once again I'll get back in the groove of blogging and documenting our life. I would hate for our 3rd child to miss out on all the fun.
So, I'm 30 weeks+ pregnant now (picture taken a week ago).
And, apparently, the whole world thinks this baby is coming any day and wants to tell me about it. :)
As far as pregnancy goes, I've had more rough weeks than smooth ones, but (knock on wood) things have been going pretty well the last week. I am having more energy (thanks to extra iron), my heart palpitations that were consistent for about 2 weeks are gone, the baby has moved from her nice little spot on my cervix (PRAISE JESUS!), and I am still sleeping somewhat. Now, bending over, picking up children, and chasing 2.5 year olds are not among my favorite activities, but I can't complain too much. I've been walking at least 4 times a week for about 45 minutes and that has really helped out my overall energy.
The kids are keeping me busy as ever. Our backyard is the hub of the neighborhood and we often have a crowd of kids in and out all evening. Our kids are loving the nice weather for playing outside and I am very grateful for our house and fenced in yard (also our swing set and trampoline).
We are trying to get some bedrooms painted and organization of our office accomplished before the baby arrives. I feel like I'm in constant "project mode", but love the feeling of checking things off my list. I don't think I've ever been quite as prepared for a baby before (not there yet, but where I plan to be by the time she arrives). Nora's arrival was in the middle of packing to move across the country, so things were in absolute disarray and chaotic for those first few weeks. I am so glad to feel settled here and to be getting our home ready with the plan to be living in it for years to come.
Seth and I are going on a trip to SC in 13 days. Just the two of us. For a week. He has to be there for work, but we are going a little early to visit with friends and spend a couple days at the beach. I don't know the last time we've done something like this and we've never left our kids for this long before! I'm a little nervous, but I know they will be fine.
So, in a nutshell that is life right now. Nothing to out of the ordinary, nothing to blogworthy. I've been horrible at taking pictures of anything, but I hope that once again I'll get back in the groove of blogging and documenting our life. I would hate for our 3rd child to miss out on all the fun.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Deanna Rose
We finally got to spend a day at Deanna Rose where the weather was halfway decent! The kids have been asking to go for awhile, so it was a fun outing. I am so glad they are both at great ages for enjoying the farm and playing there. They never want to leave!
Nora loved the baby goats and was so sweet with them. And, yes, I realize all my pictures are of her, but Aidan rarely stays right by me and it's harder to snap his picture. He is constantly on the go!
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Aidan: 5 year letter
Aidan,
My little boy is growing up and it's really hitting me hard. I think this is the first birthday where I really felt that "please stop growing" feeling. While it is a blast getting to know you more and more as you mature and get older, I am a little melancholy that you are now more of a "kid" and not so much a "toddler/preschooler."
I always found myself looking toward the 5 year mark with longing in those first couple years of your somewhat demanding life, but now I wish that I could go back in time and just have a few days with you again as a baby, a 1 year old, a 2, 3, and 4 year old.
Beyond the reminiscing though, I have come to really like you. Not just love you deeply (which is very true), but really like hanging out with you. You are full of life and wonder and watching you learn and develop certain skills is a fascinating process. I love the way your mind works and how quickly you catch on to things I teach you. You have a steel trap memory, so I have to be careful what I tell you because you will always remind me, even days later!
Some of my favorite things to do with you/memories we have been making:
Reading the Bible together in the mornings while we eat our breakfast (you are an enthusiastic listener)
Building Legos
Teaching you to read
Reading to you (especially some of the chapter books we have recently started)
Playing card games or board games
Teaching you to play the piano
Things I don't want to forget about you EVER:
The way you giggle
Your contagious smile (you are constantly smiling)
Your sweet cuddles (only when we read together!)
The way you are always coming up with solutions to problems
The way you help me with small things (like untying my shoes)
How you just "get music" and play things on the piano or play piano songs on the recorder
The way you light up when talking about your current obsession and the way you get very serious in explaining every single detail to me
How you want to be with me every second (even when I find this a little annoying, I know I'll miss it someday)
Aidan, you are my favorite little guy! You make life fun and exciting and I love to learn things with you. Just today we were talking about pottery and stone mills and watched YouTube clips about them. It is so fun to see your fascination with learning and to learn along with you. I am excited what this next year will bring as we start on our homeschooling journey together.
You a still a very routine guy. You like to know what is coming. You don't like change all that much and you want things the same way day in and day out: like eating p.b. and honey sandwiches for lunch, listening to one song on repeat at bedtime, having your legs rubbed a certain way, and watching t.v. in the early morning.
You are starting to show a lot more responsibility at your age. You are doing better with making your bed, getting dressed, brushing your teeth, and doing other little jobs around the house (putting clothes away, emptying silverware from dishwasher, picking up toys).
You are a lover of people and definitely an extrovert. You can play outside all day in the freezing cold as long as you have a friend with you. You never get tired of being with other kids and you are always being friendly (yelling to anyone within earshot). You are very good at including people and your main goal with friends is to have fun.
You are becoming more sensitive to the Lord and I love listening to you regurgitate Biblical knowledge. You love going to church, and you also love reading the Bible. Whenever we read about the things Jesus did during His time on earth you say, "I believe in these miracles." I love hearing your statements of faith in God as you grow and mature in your knowledge of Him. I pray that one day you come to know Him very personally and intimately.
Aidan, my biggest prayer for you is that you would love the Lord with all your heart, be confident in who you were made to be, and live out your full potential. I pray that you will pursue your talents and gifts and that I will help you become the young man you are destined to be.
I love you forever and always,
Mama
My little boy is growing up and it's really hitting me hard. I think this is the first birthday where I really felt that "please stop growing" feeling. While it is a blast getting to know you more and more as you mature and get older, I am a little melancholy that you are now more of a "kid" and not so much a "toddler/preschooler."
I always found myself looking toward the 5 year mark with longing in those first couple years of your somewhat demanding life, but now I wish that I could go back in time and just have a few days with you again as a baby, a 1 year old, a 2, 3, and 4 year old.
Beyond the reminiscing though, I have come to really like you. Not just love you deeply (which is very true), but really like hanging out with you. You are full of life and wonder and watching you learn and develop certain skills is a fascinating process. I love the way your mind works and how quickly you catch on to things I teach you. You have a steel trap memory, so I have to be careful what I tell you because you will always remind me, even days later!
Some of my favorite things to do with you/memories we have been making:
Reading the Bible together in the mornings while we eat our breakfast (you are an enthusiastic listener)
Building Legos
Teaching you to read
Reading to you (especially some of the chapter books we have recently started)
Playing card games or board games
Teaching you to play the piano
Things I don't want to forget about you EVER:
The way you giggle
Your contagious smile (you are constantly smiling)
Your sweet cuddles (only when we read together!)
The way you are always coming up with solutions to problems
The way you help me with small things (like untying my shoes)
How you just "get music" and play things on the piano or play piano songs on the recorder
The way you light up when talking about your current obsession and the way you get very serious in explaining every single detail to me
How you want to be with me every second (even when I find this a little annoying, I know I'll miss it someday)
Aidan, you are my favorite little guy! You make life fun and exciting and I love to learn things with you. Just today we were talking about pottery and stone mills and watched YouTube clips about them. It is so fun to see your fascination with learning and to learn along with you. I am excited what this next year will bring as we start on our homeschooling journey together.
You a still a very routine guy. You like to know what is coming. You don't like change all that much and you want things the same way day in and day out: like eating p.b. and honey sandwiches for lunch, listening to one song on repeat at bedtime, having your legs rubbed a certain way, and watching t.v. in the early morning.
You are starting to show a lot more responsibility at your age. You are doing better with making your bed, getting dressed, brushing your teeth, and doing other little jobs around the house (putting clothes away, emptying silverware from dishwasher, picking up toys).
You are a lover of people and definitely an extrovert. You can play outside all day in the freezing cold as long as you have a friend with you. You never get tired of being with other kids and you are always being friendly (yelling to anyone within earshot). You are very good at including people and your main goal with friends is to have fun.
You are becoming more sensitive to the Lord and I love listening to you regurgitate Biblical knowledge. You love going to church, and you also love reading the Bible. Whenever we read about the things Jesus did during His time on earth you say, "I believe in these miracles." I love hearing your statements of faith in God as you grow and mature in your knowledge of Him. I pray that one day you come to know Him very personally and intimately.
Aidan, my biggest prayer for you is that you would love the Lord with all your heart, be confident in who you were made to be, and live out your full potential. I pray that you will pursue your talents and gifts and that I will help you become the young man you are destined to be.
I love you forever and always,
Mama
"Girly-girl"
Nora is all around the "girly-girl." She is always playing princess, dressing up, doing "ballet," and changing her clothes about 7 times a day (we're working on this one).
I was cracking up the other day when she was being "tinkerbell" and she started doing a spread eagle in the kitchen. She smiled up at me and said, "I'm doing the splits!" I had never taught the word or concept to her, so I was pretty surprised, but also pretty tickled. I grabbed my camera to try and capture her "splits" and "dancing." She is pretty certain she wants to be a ballerina (and she always insists that her ballet shoe ties are kept tied neatly in little bows).
I was cracking up the other day when she was being "tinkerbell" and she started doing a spread eagle in the kitchen. She smiled up at me and said, "I'm doing the splits!" I had never taught the word or concept to her, so I was pretty surprised, but also pretty tickled. I grabbed my camera to try and capture her "splits" and "dancing." She is pretty certain she wants to be a ballerina (and she always insists that her ballet shoe ties are kept tied neatly in little bows).
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Aidan: 5 year interview
Favorite Color: Red
Favorite Toy: Legos
Favorite Tv Show: Jake and the Neverland Pirates
Favorite thing to eat for Lunch: meat, cheese, and crackers
Favorite Game: Super Mario Galaxy
Favorite Animal: Turtle
Favorite Song: Mario theme
Favorite Book: Ultraheroes comics
Favorite snack: Saltines
Favorite thing to do outside: Play baseball
What do you like to take to bed with you: Blankie and Woody
What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast: Bagel and cream cheese
What is your favorite food: Hot dog
What do you want to be when you grow up: Fireman
What is your favorite instrument: Drum
What is your favorite place to go: Zonkers
What is your favorite thing to do with Daddy: Play baseball and on the Wii
What is your favorite thing to do with Mommy: Legos
What is your favorite season: Summer because we swim
Monday, April 8, 2013
Aidan's Super Mario Party!
Okay, so I jumped on the band wagon of themed birthday parties and went above and beyond my normal "keep it simple" mantra. It was one evening of browsing Pinterest that did me in with all the fun ideas. I just kept saying to myself, "oh, I have to do that!" and "that is simple to make, I can do that too!" Before I knew it, I was planning a party that was way above and beyond my 6 month pregnant self. :)
Sidenote: I know that this is not like an amazing party like some I view daily on the web, but for me, it was a big deal...so yeah, I set the bar kinda low (and am not ashamed about it).
So, first of all, I decided to make a pinata. Because, hey, I made one in 1st grade and remember in detail how much fun it was, so it should be a breeze. Note to self or any others thinking to do this project: start at least 5 days in advance so you aren't still decorating the day of the party! It was fairly simple, and I assumed Aidan would want to help, but he lasted through ripping the newspaper into strips and putting the first piece on...then he just wanted to wash the goop off his hands and do something else. I continued at it, day after day, layer after layer, until I had an aching back and a large ballon shaped paper mache ball to work with. The day of the party, I stuffed it with goodies (fruit snacks, fake coins, and fireballs), painted it black, added eyes, mouth, and tissue paper all over.... and then glued on the black paper chain. I then left the rest to the husband, who drilled a couple holes in it and got it rigged up the right way for the hitting to commence.
Oh the finished project! I can hardly stand the fact that all my hard work is now smashed to pieces!
Since Aidan is obsessed with Mario, and I mean obsessed, we decided to have Seth (the husband) dress up like Bowser (the ultimate Mario villain). So we rigged up a cardboard shell, spray painted it and put party hats in it for spikes. I then used an old sweater I had lying around to make a hat with felt horns. It was a hit! Not too scary or overdone, but enough to make every child at the party stop in their tracks. I'm pretty sure Bowser's appearance was the biggest talk of the town for the next few days. :)
We had "Bowser" come and "kidnap" the Princess (a.k.a Nora) while the kids were playing in the yard. We had music cued up and everything which was really funny. I SO SO WISH WE HAD VIDEOTAPED IT! Seriously. It was hilarious. And Aidan got so into it while most of the other kids just stood there trying to figure out what in the world was going on. He was chasing after Bowser and fighting him with everything he had in him. Of course, all the adults were cracking up at this point.
Then we had all the kids go on a quest to save the Princess. I started out by giving them each Mario hats that I sewed as party favors. Not all the kids wanted to wear one at this point, so we just let them do what they wanted (obviously). Oh, and we had one Luigi (Aidan's sweet friend from church that came dressed for the occasion).
Our first "level" was to find Yoshi eggs that we had hidden in the front yard and filled with fake coins. This was a cooperative level and they all seemed to like it. We spray painted our Easter eggs white and dotted them with green paint.
The next level involved them, lining up and going through a small obstacle course (tunnel, jumping over logs, and then smashing the Goombas). We made Goombas (another Mario theme) with balloons and they smashed them. I wish I had taken a close up of the faces I drew on them!
Can I just say I love this age? The boys were great and they were all so into each game. I was afraid at first they would think I was nuts, but they all got into the theme. In order to defeat Bowser they needed to get fire power by attacking the Chain Chomp (the pinata). Hence, the reason for the fireball candy.
Then Bowser appeared again and started bouncing on the trampoline. I made "fire balls" out of old socks rolled up and tied with red fleece that I cut to make look like flames. These were perfect for throwing and no one could get hurt. They each had one and kept throwing them at Seth. I think this might have been the favorite game as "Bowser" kept throwing them back until he was finally defeated and offered up gold stars (stars I cut from that fun foam stuff).
Again, hilarious to watch.
So, then Mario came out with the Princess and all was saved!
Then, we went inside to open presents. They were all so sweet and great during this part (which can sometimes be a nightmare). I was really impressed with all the boys.
And, then some playing outside while waiting for pizza for dinner. We had the party from 4:30-7:00 on his actual birthday so we decided to serve dinner. The boys were also pretty hungry after all the games!
Then we had pizza, followed by cake and ice cream! I made the cake using some little KNEX Mario motorcycles we bought for Aidan as a birthday present. I am not a cake decorator by any means, so I was pretty happy with the end result. I made some toadstool cupcakes to go along with the cake in case we didn't have enough.
And then I sent home some star cookies and fireballs along with the Mario hats as party favors!
All in all, it was a great party! I was pretty wiped out at the end, but glad that I pulled off everything. The kids talked about it for days so I think it was quite the hit. Don't know if I'll do it again next year or go for something more simple, but it was worth it.
Can't believe my big boy is 5 already!
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