For lack of energy

I find that by the time Friday hits us on the weeks that Seth is in class, I am near meltdown status. I just want to have him home and I am exhausted from taking care of Aidan 24/7. This week was even more challenging, because with the time change, I moved Aidan's bedtime back an hour. It has been so much harder to fill the evenings and get him to bed with some form of sanity left. All that....and I am still just recovering from the worst cold of my life.

So tonight, I was ready to lose it. The tears were nearly there...the frustration, the tiredness...

Aidan spilled his smoothie on the table and smeared it around and I yelled at him. Yes, I did. I am not proud of that fact, but it's true. It was the only thing I felt like doing at the moment. I then apologized, but explained my expectations for his behavior from then on. Inside I was near going over the edge.

Then, Seth's parents dropped by and we ended up going to McDonalds for ice cream. Although Aidan didn't really eat any dinner, and rarely has ice cream, and might just still be getting over a cold, I just let go. I find that when I have lost all energy, I give in to something entirely different than my logical mommy brain tells me. And, you know what? It probably won't kill us either. We ate ice cream. Aidan played on the filthy playground. We came home, washed off, got in pj's and he collapsed into bed snuggling with his blanket and sippy cup.

I sighed. Relieved that my parenting duties were over for the time being. Still tired. Still have dishes to do and lots of picking up around my house. But, tomorrow is Saturday...and even though Seth has class all day, I will survive.